There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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