This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
