Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
