I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I need water and some morals
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
