u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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