im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
This baby is an asshole
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
