Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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