Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
