I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
