how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize