two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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