its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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