It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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