May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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