Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
