It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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