You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
