whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
