He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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