The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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