Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
