You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
So here I am, sexting at work.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
