Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
