he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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