I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
