two words: eviction party
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
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