I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
