I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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