I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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