i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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