all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
