Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
