One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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