I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Randomize
