im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
