I want to stick my p in your. b.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
