is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
