but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
