You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
