wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
