Will you blow on my dice?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he was CRYING into my vagina
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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