In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
