He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
