idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize