well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
