The maid of honor just puked.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
