MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
