I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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