Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
be right there i have to get my cape
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