he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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