i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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