Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize