So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
